Who is in the chamber, Harry Potter?

Warning : The post below has adult content. I usually don't post with adult content but I have a friend who is going to take me to the last Harry Potter movie but she hasn't read the books or seen any of the movies. I wrote this for her, sort of as a joke, but then another friend wanted to read it too so I thought I would put it out here for all to see. Please do not take offense.

SPOILER ALERT: This post contains the entire 2nd Harry Potter book context. (sort of)

The next Harry Potter starts with him back at his Aunt and Uncle’s house with his annoying cousin bugging him but surprise Harry has his own bedroom.  Oh what a lucky boy he is but is Harry happy?  No, he is being a big ol Debbie downer because none of his new besties are writing him letters via Owls.  (because you know Owls aren’t noticeable flying with parcels and letters in their claws, wow muggles are really dumb)  Muggles are non-magic folk for all you non-Harry Potters.

So Harry can’t go to Hogwarts anymore because big fat meany Uncle has locked him in his room with bars on the window.   Cue Weasley twin shenanigans.   They, along with Ron, save Harry in a flying car as uncle goes falling out the 2^nd story window to the ground below shaking his fist at Harry.  Must have been all that chub-a-lub that saved his ass.

So they hang out at a very hospitable Mrs. Weasley’s magical house until it time to get on the train for school.  Surprise #2 – Harry can’t get through the brick wall to get onto the train.  So Ron once again jumpstarts the flying car and they make their way to Hogwarts to land in a tree that beats the hell out of the car, and then the car all of a sudden has a mind of it’s own and throws them and their luggage out and heads into THE FORBIDDEN FOREST (muhawhaw)

Turns out it’s a house elf that is trying to “help” Harry and therefore trying to keep him out of danger and out of Hogwarts.  I must mention that this house elf is psycho and looks an awful lot like the guy that plays ‘Precious’ in Lord of the Rings.  It also turns out he is the house elf of the badasses Malfoys.

Surprise # 3 – there is a big problem at Hogwarts, the Chamber of Secrets has been OPENED!! AHHHH what are the 3 amigos going to do?  Shut it of course.  Harry starts off by hearing voices, weird as shit even for a wizard.  Then he shows everyone he can talk to snakes, weird ass shit even for a wizard.  Then the peeps of Hogwarts start to get petrified. ( This means they become live statues)  It start with the caretakers cat and he is all sad and going to get Harry but he can’t even light a match without help so no big threat there.  Then the annoying kid that takes pictures get petrified.  Then OH, NO, it’s Hermione and she is petrified too.  Cue Harry and Ron to step it up a notch to solve the problem. 

So they have to figure out who is the heir to Slitherine(school group) and so Hagrid tells them to follow the spiders because he is taken away to prison.  So Ron and Harry go to the spiders and there is a big ass spider, like gigantic big.  They find out some info to help them out and then the spider says he doesn’t eat Hagrid but sorry Harry and Ron, you guys are dinner.  They look up and see thousands of big ass spiders everywhere, but never fear the crazy ass car comes to their rescue and saves them.  Oh, what a relief.

They find out that Moaning Mertile, the most annoying ghost in the world, is the one that died when the chamber was last opened 30 years ago.  We have to listen to Mertile go on and on about all the damn stuff that went on.  Oh and Hermione saves the day by holding onto a piece of evidence in her petrified hands, Go Hermione!  She is a superstar even as a statue.

They find out that the chamber holds a giant snake (nothing is normal size in Potterville) and that it kills with a look of its eyes.  (I’ve met some people like that)  So they go down into the chamber which Harry can open with his Snakey language and as they are in the tunnel Ron and him get separated by and earthquake.   Harry goes on to see poor little Ginny Weasley lying on the ground in the tunnels almost dead, quick Harry you can still save her!  It turns out that the diary Ginny had belonged to Tom Riddle who when re-arranges all his names is, wait for it, I AM LORD VOLDERMORT!!!!  Oh no, not that bad ass wizard again.  Turns out the bastard tricked poor little Ginny.  It’s ok though, Harry killed the giant snake and then used it’s tooth to kill the diary, which killed Tom Riddle, which was Lord Voldermort, which was Lord Voldermorts memory, which could have come to life if he had of killed Ginny, see simple right?

Everyone became unpetrified, Ginny became all better once the nasty ass memory guy was dead, and all is once again well with Potterville.  Oh and Harry set the uglyass house elf free from the Malfoys.  Yeah Harry, we couldn’t have done it without you.  You are my hero.

Hello, I'm Harry Potter

Warning : The post below has adult content.  I usually don't post with adult content but I have a friend who is going to take me to the last Harry Potter movie but she hasn't read the books or seen any of the movies.  I wrote this for her, sort of as a joke, but then another friend wanted to read it too so I thought I would put it out here for all to see.  Please do not take offense.

Hello, I’m Harry Potter (said in a whispery voice). LOL! Anyway so it’s Harry’s 11th birthday and so far he has been living with his Aunt, Uncle and cousin who are all big douches, literally they are HUGE! And Harry has been living under the stairway in a closet his whole life only to go out for school and such b/c they don’t like him.

 Happy Birthday Harry Potter you are a wizard and are heading to Hogwarts School for witches and wizards, good bye stinky fat Dursley’s. (oh and Harry's parents were killed by another bad wizard)
So Haggrid is a part giant with a giant heart that takes Harry to get everything he needs for school at Diagon Alley – the place where EVERYONE THAT IS ANYBODY goes. So he gets his books, robes, wand (which coincidentally happens to be the same wand as the bad wizard that killed his parents and gave Harry his trade mark lightening scar on his forehead.) and he got an owl (his new BFF) from Haggrid .

So he gets to school and likes Ron Weasley who is poor but has a good heart and Hermione who is super smart and can do any potion or spell. But he doesn’t like Draco Malfoy and professor Snape. Them bad bitches!

Harry bumbles his way through his year with Ron and Hermione on his side. He is popular because he is the one that defeated the great big badass wizard, called Voldermort, and of course he is a superstar athlete who plays Quiddiche, you heard me right Quiddiche. It’s a game you play on your ‘brooms’ just go with it. He gets a super cool invisibility cloak which helps them sneak around the castle (or school as commoners would say) getting into all kinds of shit.

So Harry discovers a mirror that makes all your dreams come true, but of course only in the mirror. The 3 amigos also realize that there is a dog hiding something in the castle, oh ya and it’s got 3 heads, yup 3 b/c 2 would be 2 easy! So they get past the crazy ass dog, they go through some plant shit that tries to eat them(insert Hermione’s super book smarts here), get a key that has wings to unlock a door (insert Harry’s super broom riding ability here) and play a real life game of chess (insert Ron’s bravery and friendship here). Harry goes on alone and it is some scary shit.

He meets up with dondondondon Voldermort who has attached himself to a professor like a parasite. That was some nasty shit. Then Harry touches the professor and he starts to turn to stone and then ash. Then Voldermort gets all smoky like and swishes off into the sunset. Turns out his hands were toxic to the prof b/c he held his mothers love in them. Who knows?

Anyway they were after the philosophers stone which would give you eternal life, which the nasty old Voldermort wanted to wreak havoc on all the good folks of Potterville. But alas it was destroyed by the great Headmaster and Harry Potter's friend Dumbledore.

So all is well and Harry is going back to spend the summer with the douches the dursleys.
So that is Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone. Hope you enjoyed it. I know it is a little long but I am summarizing an entire book and movie!

Veggies for Sale

Well I finally have my vegetable stand.  It isn't much to look at, just an old plastic patio table, and there isn't a whole lot for sale because I wasn't really planning on having anything for sale this year.  Yesterday when I picked 32 zucchini's from my garden I thought either I need to sell some or find a recipe that would take 32 zucchini's!

The wee ones helping out, shinning up the zucchini's!

Sadie also helped out with the signs.

They are really proud of all their hard work.

Veggies for sale! 

And so there was no sales today but I figure that now people know about it hopefully tomorrow they will stop by.  At least someone might steal a zucchini or two.... seriously 32 zucchini in one day, yikes!

Tile Draining

We have one field on our farm that is always causing us problems.  The problem with it is that it is always wet.  We wait in the spring for it too dry out.  Usually the other fields start to dry and can be worked up, then planted and then after a couple days our 'wet' field is usually dry enough to work.  But of course their is rain and it usually rains a lot in the spring.  So we have MASSIVE problems trying to get on the field, the tractors sink, there is water lying on the field, etc.  So we finally made the decision to take out a loan and get the field tile drained.  It is not a terribly expensive project but with only one income everything is expensive!

We had a local Mennonite business do it for us.  They came for a little under 2 days and the field was completely done.  It was quick, good, and hopefully will do the trick.

Stop and Smell the Roses...

A couple days ago, when the heat was high and the wee ones were in their pool having fun, I just didn't want to go back into my garden.  I'd had enough.  So I got my camera and took a moment to walk around and see what beauty there was going around the yard. 

It was actually easy to find.

Shasta Daisy

Phlox

One of my favourites.

Can't remember this name.

Delphinium - beautiful.

Trying to get a close up of a bee and it actually worked.

This is a border flower that attracts lots of bees.  It is such a magnificant purple colour it really is breathtaking when you see it.

This was one of my attempts to actually capture the bee on the flower but thought that this picture actually turned out really cool.  Can you spot the bee?

Photo Friday

Remember this moment in time, when the wee ones were little and both wanted to be fairies because that meant flying, dreaming, magic and blissful imagination.

Hay There!

The other day while I was at my parents farm I somehow got tricked into going out and raking hay for my day.  Did I mention it was one of the hottest days of the year?  Did I also mention I wasn't prepared for it at all and since I have had the wee ones I haven't done any of the field work because who is going to stay and watch them?  Well the answer was my mom because she didn't want to get out on the tractor. 

When I was raking my dad started to bail the hay and then when I was done I went home, recovered, got a very cold beer for my dad, packed the wee ones on the 4-wheeler and didn't forget my camera for some great memories.

A well deserved break!

Canada Day Eh!

This past weekend was spent with parades, bbq's, family, friends, swimming, fireworks, sparklers and just overall good memories.  Friends of ours that moved to another town made the trip up for the weekend and we enjoyed celebrating Canada's birthday with them.  There were activities in every town nearby.  The kids were completely tired out by the end of it.

We decided to go to the parade in a small little village that usually puts on a great parade.  We were not disappointed.  I didn't get too many pictures though because there were four wee ones under 4 that were running towards candy (but so was I, hey, it's exciting to get candy thrown at you!)

Sparklers to prep for the fireworks.

We also had a special delivery in the pasture that day.  We kept two cows at home that were going to calve at some point this summer and we recieved the first one on Canada Day so here is....

CANADA!!!!

Strike a pose!

The kids like having a new baby around.  Don't ask why Sadie is wearing her safety googles, I can't remember but it does make for a cute picture.

I don't blame Canada for hiding on the other side of momma when we are all around.

I hope all the Canadians and Americans that read this had a wonderful holiday weekend.

Here a chick, there a chick, everywhere a chick chick

Well it has definitely been busy here on the homestead.  The summer is well underway, school is out, crops are being harvested, the garden is booming (along with the weeds!), and we received our chickens last week.

They are so cute when they are first born, little balls of fluff that can zoom around at top speed.  We have gotten meat chickens and turkeys in the past but this year decided on doing just chickens.  We still have a few turkeys leftover and there was no need for more.  I am also doing things a little different this year with our chickens.  I asked our family who can't handle chickens (space, age, etc) if they would like to have me grow their chickens and they just pay for the expenses.

These are the turkeys that are on my parents farm.  They are all huddled together to stay warm which isn't good because they may end up smothering eachother. 

This was the set-up in our basement for the chicks.  The red glow is the heat lamp to keep them warm.

Hello chicks!!

Their new digs in the chicken coop.

So cute and fluffy!

This must be the flock leader.

An old stump for when farmers use to make stump fences, hard to believe and even harder to believe they are still around.

Feeding time.

Getting some water on these hot days.